This is part 2 of the 6 part series on relationships. Last week we went over the red flags for an unhealthy relationship and the key principles for a healthy relationship. One of the principles is COMMUNICATION. Communication is a complex skill, but when you truly master it the world is at your fingertips and your relationship becomes so much easier and healthier.

What are the skills that make up communication?

1. Vulnerability
   • The first part of communication to work on if you want to master this area of life, is vulnerability. This is also one of the hardest skills. Being vulnerable in your communication means being honest, open, and sharing often. It means not holding back due to fear of what the other person may think of you. It means putting yourself out there for better or for worse. It is through vulnerability that you will find deep connection, clarity in your communication, and not get caught up in trying to have someone read your mind.
2. Asking Questions
   • You must make a practice of listening more than you are talking. However, that does not mean just waiting for the other person to share. It is up to you to make the other person feel comfortable sharing with you by being vulnerable yourself, and asking questions that show your true interest in what they have to say. Asking a question is an invitation for connection and love. Put that invitation out there often.
3. Listening
   • Listening seems like an obvious skill for communication, yet most of us struggle with being a good listener. Often we think about what we are going to say next, or get distracted by something in our environment. However, it is through listening that you really learn about the other person, develop trust, and are better armed to show them love and appreciation.

So how can you be a better listener?

I have a few tips for you to practice being a better listener:

The first tip is to make eye contact. It is hard to get distracted by other things in the environment when you are cuing your mind to what is important through eye contact. Eye contact also helps us develop deep connection and makes us feel vulnerable, therefore it is a great way to deepen communication between you and your partner anyway.

The second tip is to repeat back. Show the other person that you are listening by repeating things back to them. Not like a robot, but in a clarifying and affirmative way. You can try saying – “So you are saying…. (repeat back what they said).” There is no pressure to add your thoughts or ideas to the conversation at this point. Your only goal is to be a good listener, then let the conversation deepen from there.

I hope you apply these skills to become a better communicator, and a good listener. I can’t wait to hear what insights come up for you as you are practicing this, please share with me in the comments below.
And, if you want to make big strides in your ability to communicate then let’s work together one on one. 

Much love, Danielle