This is part 5 of the 6 part series on healthy relationships. The work we have been doing over the last 5 weeks has not been easy. If you are feeling stuck or overwhelmed that is understandable and ok. You can go back to these videos/articles as often as you need, working through the key principles of a healthy relationship and taking what you need from this series.Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4 are here for you anytime.

Today, we are going to go deeper into to the key principle of forgiveness.

Forgiveness is an important skill that most of us have difficulty with.

Forgiveness is the ability to let go of bitterness, revengeful feelings, and negative thoughts related to the situation.

Forgiveness is not condoning poor choices or behavior.

Forgiveness is not the decision to keep an unhealthy person in your life.

Forgiveness is not releasing learning from the situation.

It is important to know how to forgive things in your romantic relationship so that do not break your boundaries. Holding onto little things until the build up to a big thing is a detrimental behavior for your relationship.

It is also important to forgive yourself. Most of us are our own worst critic. We do things to ourselves constantly that are harmful and damaging. The best way to get away from this is to recognize when you are doing it and make a habit of forgiving yourself.

It is also important to forgive your past. Sometimes we hold on to things we did “wrong” in the past and “wrong” things people did to us in the past. If we hold onto this negativity and resentment from our past then we are more likely to repeat these actions in our present time. When we give our attention to something we are trapping ourselves with it in the present. Forgiving and letting go allows you to move forward and create more of what you want in your life.

Here are some tips for how to forgive.

1. Stop the blame.
   • Start recognizing that it is not the person who is wrong or bad, it was the choice they made. When you separate the choice from the person you are releasing blame and it is easier to forgive.
2. Create a mantra.
   • A mantra can help you prime your mind for the positivity you want. The mantra or affirmation I use is, “I release negativity. I choose forgiveness.”
3. Talk to the person.
   • Confront the situation. Try to understand what happened, why the choice was made, and how you can have a better relationship moving forward. Don’t just hold on to the hurt, get clarity around it.

I would love to hear what you are going to forgive today. Please share in the comments below.

And, if you are struggling with forgiveness then let’s work together one on one.

Much love, Danielle