So your relationship ended. You feel a little lost, stressed, and sad. Things are new and unknown again.

It is a hard time, I totally get it, BUT it does have a silver lining that I cannot wait to share with you. The silver lining is that you get to reinvent yourself. You get to have a new start. Don’t let yourself just get swept away from all of the emotion and hardship. Take the reins of your life and put your awesomeness out there for the world to see.

How?

You are no longer defined, in big or small ways, by the other person.

When you are in a relationship, the other person helps define who you are. This varies based on the level of seriousness the relationship had and the individual people in the relationship. Still, if you were in a relationship, that relationship defined some of your life. You spent time with this person, had conversations that were unique for the two of you, and you invested part of yourself in this person.

With the relationship ended, you no longer have this definition. You are an independent person and you have the freedom to go for whatever you desire.

Your decisions no longer have this person as a variable.

With this newly defined freedom and independence you now have the ability to fully make decisions without this person as a variable. If this person was a major part of your life, then it is likely you had to make decisions together or you considered their thoughts and feelings before you made decisions. Now is your chance to make decisions fully based on what you want and need in life.

You can create your own life and self with these new decisions. Decisions can be big or small, but they allow you to be the ruler of your own life.

You have learned a lot about yourself through the relationship AND break-up process.

Sometimes, after a break-up, we get frustrated with ourselves for wasting time, thinking about what we could have, or should have done. There are many ways we can get stuck in negativity and complaining. Sometimes being in a negative mindset about the relationship can help with moving on, but getting stuck in that mindset does no one any good. What I recommend focusing on instead is what you learned. Through a relationship and a break-up you can learn a lot about what you want out of a future relationship, what you give to a relationship, and who might be a match for you.

You have the ability to take this new knowledge and see what you really want out of life and relationships.

Still feeling a little lost? I would love to help. Let’s chat about how we could work together.

Much love, Danielle