Regardless of whether a relationship is healthy, abusive, estranged, brand new, or on the brink of destruction, it is vital that you are your own person in that relationship.

This can be a tricky concept because being in a relationship shapes you. It gives you experiences and connections. It teaches you lessons and shows you new parts of yourself you didn’t even know were there. Every experience, relationship, and decision we make in our life affects and shapes who we are in each moment. Still, it can be easy to feel like you have lost yourself in your relationship.

When you feel like you have lost yourself in your relationship, you start to feel worried you have tied too much of yourself up with another person, people start telling you that you spend too much time together as a couple, or you realize you have stopped doing some of the things you used to love.

If you lose yourself in your relationship, then you can take a healthy relationship and turn it unhealthy or you can take an unhealthy relationship and feel too helpless to get out.

Regardless of your relationship status, it is important to have a strong sense of yourself throughout every aspect of your life. You are the common denominator for your life. It is critical you know who you are.

Here are some quick ways to reconnect with yourself to find YOU in your relationship.

• Make a list of your talents, interests, and characteristics. Creating a list of the aspects that make you a unique person will bring clarity of who you know you are. Posting this up somewhere where you see it every day will help remind you of who you are and boost your confidence.
• Read a book that connects you with who you are. My favorite books for this are Strengths Finder 2.0 by Tom Rath and The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte. Both of these books help you connect with pieces of yourself and teach you to build upon what already makes you great and unique.
• Explore your hobbies. Spending time doing the things that you love will connect you with who you are on a creative, physical, or intellectual level. Bringing up the deep laid neuropathways from your past will likely create lots of joy while helping remind you of what makes you yourself.

Whatever way you decide to reconnect with yourself and find YOU in your relationship, I hope you remember you can be strong in your sense of self while in a relationship and while being single. Having a strong sense and connection with yourself will only add to your relationships, romantic or otherwise.

I am looking forward to hearing how finding yourself benefits your life.

Sending you love,

Danielle