Are you feeling like comparison is getting in the way of your life? Like any time you meet someone new you are measuring yourself against them? Like you are feeling threatened and your self esteem is being affected?

Then you are not alone.

First, you need to understand the difference between jealousy and comparison.

Jealousy is a fear of humiliation or abandonment. It triggers your flight or fight response. It brings up feelings of being threatened. It generally comes up when relationships are being threatened by another person. You feel threatened by a person coming in and having a more valuable relationship with someone you care about, and you don’t want to lose that relationship. This could be a romantic relationship, family, friends, or any other type of relationship.

Comparison is a little different. Comparison comes up when you are directly comparing yourself with one other person. It can, but doesn’t have to pivot on a relationship being threatened. Comparison is directly tied to your feelings of self-worth. It is more closely tied to envy than jealousy. Maybe someone has come into your life who is better at things that are important to you. That brings out feelings of questioning your self-worth.

Therefore, jealousy has to do with fear of humiliation and abandonment, and usually feelings of a relationship being threatened. Comparison has to do with threatening your self-worth and feeling envious of the things you don’t have that you want.

Both of these feelings are normal, but they are also both harmful.

If you are feeling this way you are threatening your relationships yourself and you are threatening your self-esteem.

The first step is awareness. Take action now:

• Write down which relationships feel threatened and who you are feeling jealous of.
• Write down who you compare yourself to on a regular basis.

If you don’t have a baseline you can’t move forward.

If you want help moving forward from jealousy and comparison then come find out how we can work together.

Much love, Danielle