Welcome to the third edition of the Inspiring Women Series! My intention behind this series is for women of all backgrounds and stages of life to share what makes them love their life. My hope is that, through sharing this, you become inspired to live more of your own dream life that you love. If you are interested in being featured in this series, please send me an inquiry at danielle@danielleyeager.com and I will send you more information. I am incredibly excited about this series because I see so many women floating through life, not feeling engaged, happy, or loving life. I want everyone to love the life they are living and live to the fullest!

---

The inspiring woman being featured this month is Christy Tennery-Spalding, here is her story:

Tell us how you are living the life of your dreams? 

I think there are two things that have led me to live the life of my dreams: the first is learning how to dream—and defining my dream (rather than chasing someone else’s dream). The second comes from the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali: practice and non-attachment. I’ve worked for this dream life, but I try not to get caught up in the result.

In no small part, it’s just been deciding. In the summer of 2013, I wanted to move from San Francisco to Oakland, get a cat, and have a garden. That September, my now-husband and I moved. In January, we adopted our cat, Dorothy. In April, we began creating the planter garden on our back patio.

I wanted a relationship that was intimate and loving and nurturing. In that spirit, my husband and I have created rituals that bring us closer. Every time we cook dinner, we share what we are thankful for. Every morning, we drink coffee and eat breakfast together—it’s like being on a date every day. And we say, “I love you” every night before we fall asleep.

It doesn’t all come at once. My lofty career goal was to find a way to merge my yoga and healing arts work with my activist practice and community. I’m slowly making that a reality. It hasn’t been a linear path at all. It’s been picking my way along a winding trail, taking it one step at a time, sometimes having to double back.

But what I love about my life is that it’s always in service of something higher: beauty, communion, justice, love, service. There is a why behind it all. I never have to check my motivation when I get out of bed. I know exactly why I do what I do, and the direction I’m aiming my life.

What has emerged from that sense of True North is a body of work, a home, a family, and a community that all feel just right.

What hurdles came up on your way to getting there?

I have a number of chronic issues that have provided key learning and healing opportunities for me. My spine has a significant curvature (scoliosis) that causes chronic pain throughout my body. There are some days I don’t get out of bed—but those are much fewer than they used to be. I also have depression and PTSD. Healing those where possible, and learning to dance with them when it’s not: that’s been a big lesson for me.

I think there’s also been the cultural influence of the “shoulds”—what make a life worthy. I really had to throw all of that away. There were paths of less resistance, but they weren’t my dream.

I never fit in when I was young. When I was young, I thought that it was an exterior problem: the wrong clothes, the wrong music, the wrong looks. What I realized as I got older was that it was interior: I didn’t like myself. So sorting that out was a big challenge that I’ve overcome.

What has been the biggest help in living a life of your dreams?

Loving myself has been a huge accomplishment. Accepting myself, even when I make mistakes—and owning my “uncoolness” has been a difficult, yet worthy, hurdle to overcome.

Treating my own well-being and self-care as a personal revolution, that’s paved the way for all kinds of things to become real. When I treat myself the way I want to be treated, things flow. When I can treat the precious microcosm of my body and mind well, that care can extend out. It means that I am inspired to make my home beautiful, my relationships healthy and joyful, and my work excellent.

But it starts within me.

That’s not to say that interior work is the only work; on the contrary, we owe it to the world to spread our goodness. But when I don’t treat myself well, I notice how quickly things fall apart.

What would you say to someone who feels like their dream life is impossible? 

Start small. How, today, in this moment, are you going to move toward your dream? It’s about the way our small, individual choices accumulate.

For me, accomplishing a dream is a blend of deeply (seemingly) impractical dreaming and a no-nonsense to do list. When you think about your dream life, it should give you goosebumps. It doesn’t have to be a “big” dream, but it should leave you speechless with how amazing it is.

That being said, I’m also of the Danielle LaPorte school of “Do what you say you’re going to do.” Don’t flake on yourself. That sounds harsh, but doing what you have promised is the only thing that will take you where you want to go. Saying you’re going to write a book? That means you actually have to write.

This builds interior trust with yourself. And when you trust your own word, others will too. You’ll become the reliable one. The one who shows up on time and delivers. That sounds small, but it counts for a lot.

How are you continuing to build a life of your dreams?

Building the life of my dreams is moment by moment. Some time in the morning to do my yoga practice. Some time on days off to arrange my altar and tidy my home. The choice that I make about what food to eat. All of that leads me closer to my dream life.

I’ve just launched my really big dream. I use my background in healing arts and yoga to create beautiful and useful resources for caregivers, change-makers, and activists. This is my way of building a more compassionate and just world.  I’ve thought deeply about how I want to serve—the legacy I want to leave.

What I believe in is the power of people and groups to create positive social change. And I also believe that those movements need more care and love if we’re going to be effective and sustainable. I enjoy playing a behind-the-scenes role in social change, and this feels like a really great way to do that.

The life of my dreams isn’t just about me—we’re all in this together to create justice and beauty in this world. And to be a part of creating that is a complete honor.

 

Christy Tennery-Spalding is a yoga teacher, activist, Reiki and Thai massage practitioner, and writer. Her online home is www.christytending.com, where she focuses her work on self-care for caregivers and change-makers. She lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with her husband and their cat, Dorothy. In her free time, she enjoys playing in her garden, frolicking in the redwoods, and soaking in hot springs. She believes in the power of people to create positive change and the need for care in social movements. Connect with her: Website: www.christytending.com Twitter: @christytending Instagram: @christytending Pinterest: @christytending

 

---

 

Did you find Christy’s story inspiring? Tell me in the comments below your biggest takeaway from her story.

Looking to add a little more happiness to your life? Try the 21 Days of Smiling challenge.

 

Much love, Danielle