This is part 4 of the 6 part series all about healthy relationships. If you missed the previous parts you can find them here: Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.

Today, we are going deeper into the key principle of commitment.

Commitment may be a triggering word for you. It may make you think about monogamy, cheating, or something else along those lines. While those are important topics to figure out, I would argue that they belong in the category of boundaries that we talked about last week. The type of commitment I am talking about here is not the commitment to be monogamous or the commitment to spend your entire life with someone. The type of commitment I am talking about is the kind that will give your relationship the healthy foundation it deserves.

The type of commitment I am speaking of does not take any time or level of trust before going there. This is the commitment to worry about giving more than getting. This is the commitment to coming into a relationship to light the other person up, not to keep score.

Come to the relationship to give not get.

It is so easy to get caught up in keeping count of all that you are giving to someone else and wondering why they aren’t giving you more back in return. Then that attitude turns into you stopping giving so much until the other person starts giving more. This is a downfall of a relationship. I challenge you to change your attitude. Do not count the things you are doing, and stop doing things that you want the other person to do for you.

Instead, find out what really lights that other person up. Do those activities. Spend your time making the other person happy and let go of feelings of comparison. If you’ve set your boundaries and worked on your communication than your partner knows what it takes to love you. Now, all you need to focus on is loving them the way they need to be loved.

This is the commitment that will be pivotal to a healthy relationship.

Let me know in the comments below that you are making the commitment to lighting up your partner and focusing on what you can give not what you can get.
And, if you are struggling with this commitment then let’s work together one on one. 

Much love, Danielle