Maybe you are having amazing sex, maybe terrible, and maybe none at all, but if your sex life is not what you are wanting it to be, then I guarantee at least 90 percent of the reason is due to your expectations surrounding sex. I call it the great sexpectations. (I know, I’m hilarious…)

Generally speaking… As a woman, it is easy to have expectations that your partner will always want to have sex and try to seduce and please you. As a man, it is easy to have expectations of actions to be reciprocal and your partner to be highly engaged. It is also easy to get caught up in expectations on how you look and perform, for either gender. These great sexpectations are only the tip of the iceberg. I am sure you could name several more expectations you have experiences around sex. 

These expectations do not serve anyone. There is nothing positive about having these type of expectations around sex. First, you are likely to get caught up in your own head checking boxes of whether the experience and your partner are meeting your expectations. Secondly, most of these expectations are about the other person, which you have no control over. And third, if all of your expectations are not met then that means the experience was a failure, when in reality it could have been an amazingly pleasurable and enjoyable experience regardless.

Let’s make a commitment to have amazing sex. Whether you are having it daily or every few months, you deserve for it to be lovely and satisfying.

Let’s change the expectations to focus on YOU and what you can control.
1. Give. If your expectation is on giving and not focused on what you are not getting then you will be setting yourself up for success.
2. Be vulnerable. Start opening about what you like and dislike. You cannot expect anyone to read your mind. Take the risk and be vulnerable. Share your intimate details and reap the rewards.
3. Have fun. Go into it with a mindset of fun. You cannot know for sure if the other person will be in a mood for a romantic, kinky, quick, slow, etc. sexual experience. If you go in with the idea of having fun, then you will not be disappointed by where the experience goes.

Most importantly, keep in mind that if your great sexpectations are not getting you what you want, then it’s time to be mindful and make a change. You deserve all areas of your life to be great, but that doesn’t just happen on its own. You got this, sexy one.

Let me know in the comments below how you are held back by your expectations and how you are going to make a change.

Sending you tons of love,
Danielle